Ambivalence killed Jesus. The people waved palm branches on Sunday, singing “Hosanna hey.” Come Friday, they shouted to free Barabbas. Same crowd. When you stand too close to beautiful, bright lights, you find yourself deeply ambivalent about the way that light shines on parts of yourself, not so beautiful, not so bright. — sage Steven Kalas

Astrid Preston

*

https://curtisnarimatsu.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/acknowledging-ambivalence-is-best-way-to-cope-sage-steven-kalas/

*

http://www.lvrj.com/blogs/kalas/Ambivalence_challenges_most_close_relationships.html

*

*

The word we toss around in therapeutic circles for this universal phenomenon is “ambivalence.” Meaning “mixed feelings.”

*

Whenever we find ourselves in love or loving someone, or whenever we find ourselves deeply, emotionally attached to anything — an institution, a value, a cause — we invariably stumble across the experience of ambivalence.

*

The reason is obvious, but you won’t ever find it in a Hallmark card and rarely in a film or novel. Rarely do people talk about ambivalence as the unavoidable companion of love, nor is it common for parents to teach us how to handle it when you are growing up.

*

Simply put, to offer your heart to someone necessarily includes giving away a tremendous amount of power and no little degree of control.

*

You simply can’t love deeply and stay completely in charge. Oh, people try it all the time. Some folks even normalize this ever-cautious, carefully calculated “ration stamp love.” Like someone sitting on the edge of a pier with one toe in the water, who then says convincingly, “I went swimming today.”

*

Nope. Swimming is when you let go of the pier in water so deep you can’t touch the bottom. Only swimming is swimming.

*

Love means giving someone the power to break your heart, to hurt you deeply. The subject of your heart’s affection is free to be present, faithful, creative and attentive to the relationship, to cherish you. He/she also is free to neglect you, to be inconstant, or mean, or even to betray you and leave you. Not to mention the inevitable pain: Your beloved is going to die. So are you.

*

You can see why Hallmark isn’t jumping all over this.

*

In the Ron Howard film “Parenthood,” the family patriarch, after years of distance and antipathy with his now-adult son, finally confesses his ambivalence. He recalls to the son that, as a child, the boy was stricken with a life-threatening illness.

*

“I hated you for that,” the elder man says simply. Meaning, of course, I hated that loving you so deeply dangled me over the fires of so much pain and anticipation of pain.

*

Ambivalence is why, when parents scream watching their toddler almost get hit by a car in the parking lot, they will run up and fiercely hug the toddler … and then fiercely scold or even spank the toddler. How dare you make me see clearly the vulnerability of my love for you!

*

Ambivalence killed Jesus. The people waved palm branches on Sunday, singing “Hosanna hey.” Come Friday, they shouted to free Barabbas. Same crowd. When you stand too close to beautiful, bright lights, you find yourself deeply ambivalent about the way that light shines on parts of yourself, not so beautiful, not so bright.

*

Ever observe sisters? Those relationships tend to be cyclically incendiary, especially in childhood. They will, in turn, be ready to die for each other … and then hate each other to the point of metaphorical homicide.

*

You see this in brothers, too, but Freud observed — though never explained why — ambivalence is given its freest rein between sisters.

*

An accepted bit of “wisdom” in our culture is that, in marriage, being “in love” and hot sex must, of necessity, “wear off.” The elders ask us to accept that. Comedians have a field day with it. But this bit of wisdom isn’t so wise. In fact, it’s crap.

*

It is ambivalence that erodes love and sex. Nothing more. Nothing less. The human ego finds the experience of great vulnerability — great love — both compelling and intolerable. So we seek it, find it and then promptly begin to erode it, starve it and stonewall it so as to protect ourselves. This almost always is an unconscious process.

*

In fact, that’s the rub: Ambivalence begins unconsciously. And we can’t manage it well unless we are willing to make it conscious. When ambivalence is made conscious, then we have choices for bearing it creatively, usefully, sometimes even playfully.

*

I will turn this discussion to the specific ambivalence provoked by falling in love/marriage and explore the difference between “normal ambivalence” and ambivalence that might indicate serious or even dangerous pathology in a relationship.

*

*

*

*

*

http://www.lvrj.com/blogs/kalas/Acknowledging_ambivalence_is_best_way_to_cope.html

*

Aha, “Love/Hate Relationships,” known clinically as the universal human experience of ambivalence. I’m turning my attention to the specific ambivalence we experience by falling in love and/or getting married.

*

Everyone knows that falling in love is a most sublime joy. But what no one tells you is that falling in love also is a holy terror. It is regularly ego-rigorous and, from time to time, ego-intolerable.

*

And if you would love me/I will protest/And tell you to save your time/And then I’ll come back/With my very next breath/And ask you to spend some time/Trying to help me understand what you mean/When you say that it’s all worthwhile/That there’s something for you/In seeing me through/The foolishness of my life.

*

All great love affairs have some degree of “approach/avoid.” Most marriages have periods of time when the partners complain they feel neglected or that the spark is gone. But, when more deeply examined, these same partners discover they have made choices subtle and not-so-subtle making sure no truly vulnerable intimacy is possible. They are at once longing for connection and fleeing from it.

*

These periods of ambivalence are not, surprisingly enough, evidence of what is going wrong in a relationship. Quite the contrary, new rounds of ambivalence are the only possible consequence for what’s going right in a relationship. To wit: The partners are succeeding in growing ever-deepening levels of love, intimacy and interdependence. Which, in turn, must force increasingly provocative encounters with disquieting, harrowing vulnerability.

*

And if you would love me/I’ll call my friends/A bishop, a knight, a pawn/ The king is in check/And I will protect/His image so wise and strong/ If I let you see the empty places in me/Then you might want to change your mind/That’s why I push you away/To make sure you stay/And so you get left behind.

*

If we truly value enduring commitments, the necessary act of courage is to make conscious our ambivalence. We admit and embrace the uninvited guests of envy, spite, competition, fear of abandonment, insecurity, etc. We enjoy the times that love makes us delirious with joy but are equally ready to admit the times that our love for our mate makes us want to rage at our mate for having the audacity to make us love this much. Yes! It’s my mate’s fault that I’m standing shivering, vulnerable and naked before the work of great love!

*

Couples so often shake their heads in embarrassment about “fighting over stupid things.” Toasters. Socks. The rules about installing new toilet paper rolls. I’m convinced much of marital bickering serves to cyclically wedge a space, a refuge from a closeness grown uncomfortable. Rather than say, “I’m going for a walk (by myself),” or, “I want to plan a weekend to visit my sister,” we create separateness with irritability, withholding or outright conflict.

*

So if you would love me/I’ll do my best/To share the days of my life/I’ll stop using words/Like a bullet-proof vest/I’ll try to let you inside/But I gotta tell you that I don’t always know/When I’m running from your loving me/I know how to hide/How to defend my pride/But then you’re the one who bleeds.

*

I’m saying that all great love affairs experience some degree of “love/hate.” For most of us, ambivalence is ordinary, normal and we learn to manage it. Even thrive with it.

*

But there are types of ambivalence bearing evidence of more serious issues and, in some cases, evidence for pathology in the relationship. Even danger. At the top of this list is the prototypical domestic violence relationship.

*

Perpetrators of domestic violence are provoked to violence in two primary ways.

*

One is obvious: the perpetrator’s felt loss of control over the mate. But lesser known is the alternate route to the perpetrator’s rage: the mate got too close, emotionally speaking. The perpetrator experienced an intimacy and therefore a vulnerability.

*

Other people, while not committing/experiencing acts of physical violence in marriage, can and do exhibit another type of disturbing — not normal — ambivalence.

*

I’m referring to couples with frequent cycles of reactive hostility pingponging back to cosmic sex and breathless romance. “Frequent” here can mean two to five such highs and lows in a given week. The participants are beaten to an emotional pulp.

*

For some folks, these slingshot highs and lows are near addictive.

*

The cycles create powerful bonds. Just not healthy bonds. Certainly not happy bonds.

*

*

*

*

*

*

http://grammar.about.com/od/alightersideofwriting/a/ambigambivgloss.htm

*

Ambiguous and Ambivalent

Commonly Confused Words

Ambiguous means doubtful or unclear, open to more than one interpretation. Ambivalent means holding opposing attitudes or feelings toward a person, object, or idea.

Examples:

  • “Stuff that’s hidden and murky and ambiguous is scary because you don’t know what it does.” (Jerry Garcia)
  • “Americans have always had an ambivalent attitude toward intelligence. When they feel threatened, they want a lot of it, and when they don’t, they regard the whole thing as somewhat immoral.” (Vernon A. Walters)
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *

 

A thriving marriage and a healing divorce   –

*

http://www.lvrj.com/living/marriages-forge-bonds-divorces-dissolve-them-both-evolve-189554881.html

*

If thriving marriage is about waking up each day with an intention to seek and nurture connection, symbolically and actually, then it follows logically that a healthy, healing path for divorce is to wake up each day with an intention to seek and nurture separateness.

Here’s perhaps the most dramatic example of not choosing An Entire Divorce. It might shock you to notice the number of divorcing and divorced couples who continue a sexual relationship. I mean with each other. Mine is not a moral incredulity; rather, a concern and critique of contradicted symbols. Sex is for forging connections. Divorce is for forging separateness.

But, for most divorced people, the “not yet” part of divorce is more subtle. Months and years later, each is in possession of property and keepsakes belonging to the other. Perhaps bank accounts still bearing both names. Holdings, assets, liabilities and debts still conjoined. Some of this is unavoidable in a modern world. But still, it is more than economic weight. It is symbolic, psychic weight. Want to get well from a divorce? My encouragement is always to move with all speed to separate these symbols.

Or how about the divorcing and divorced people still fighting and vilifying? Here’s a cosmic truth: Hatred and enmity are bonding events. They are a great intimacy. Or, as I often say, the only couples who need to sometimes fight and argue are couples working to build a healthy and thriving marriage. You decided to divorce. So why are you arguing?

Divorced people should call before they drop by. They should knock on the door before entering, even if they have a key (for co-parenting reasons). They ought not be rummaging their ex’s fridge, cupboards or drawers. Presumptions of intimacy should be monitored and avoided.

Decorum, honor, civility, decency – yes! Always. Especially if you made babies together. A “forgiven regard” of warmth that allows the practice of authentic empathy and kindness? If possible, then I say bravo to you. But friendship? Careful, here.   A few divorced couples actually are lucky enough, over time, to discover an authentic friendship. But pushing, pretending and posturing at “Let’s be friends”   … well, it mostly impedes the embrace of An Entire Divorce.

I paraphrase therapist/author Jay Haley (1923-2007): Divorce is possible legally, but perhaps not ontologically. Every time your remarry, you just add another person to the marriage bed.

No wonder it’s such hard work to choose An Entire Divorce.*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

http://www.lvrj.com/view/the-calculated-betrayal-of-a-mate-can-cause-psychological-hysteria-191784691.html

*

The calculated betrayal of a mate can cause psychological hysteria

*

You said, the man you “thought you could trust.” Can I assume this means that, at some point, you discovered him unworthy of your trust? Yes? Then, recall that I included in my list of hell’s invitations “Someone betrays you.”

Oh, hell indeed! I’ve been in some fashion or another of private practice for more than 28 years. And the discovery of a mate’s calculated betrayal (sexual infidelity, secret lives, hidden addictions/compulsions, hidden criminal behavior, evil) can make an otherwise normally mentally healthy person lose his/her mind for a time. I’m serious. Perhaps not a psychotic break. But a psychological hysteria.

Betrayal is crushing. Awful. Beyond heartbreaking. And, while I don’t quite understand the “why” of this next part, some folks have an extraordinary time digging out of this terrible wounding. I mean, compared to other folks. I have seen women, for example, from the day of the discovered betrayal, give up on men and dating. They euthanize their sexuality. Maybe gain 50 pounds (or more) as a kind of pre-emptive armor. They go to work, clean their house, love their kids and grandkids … but never again consider love. I have seen men, for example, from the day of the discovered betrayal, enter a life of serial, businesslike, cheap (if polite enough) casual sex conquests, almost daring women with their sexuality. Daring her, that is, to open their hearts.

Oh, good woman! You have a lot of company.

A good hypnotist? Did you ever see Jim Carrey in the movie “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?” Futuristic sci-fi. Turns out scientists have learned to identify specific memories in the brain and “erase” them. The Jim Carrey character makes an appointment to erase the memory of his marriage, ended in failure and heartbreak. But, during the procedure, he changes his mind. He decides that, as awful as the grief is, he needs the grief to shape the next chapter of his life. Your crack about the hypnotist reminded me of this film.

Have you tried to sort this out with a skillful, talented therapist? I think therapy can increase our chances of getting all the treasures out of our sojourn in hell.

And then exit. To a new life.

*

*

*

*

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ron-nikkel/the-kiss-of-death_b_2712346.html?utm_hp_ref=religion

*

Betrayal:   The Kiss of Death

*

Ten years ago on a cold dark night, Someone was killed ‘neath the town hall light. There were few at the scene, but they all agreed, That the slayer who ran, looked a lot like me. — Johnny Cash

For many people the experience of betrayal feels like “the kiss of death.” Most of us have at one time or another experienced the searing pain of being betrayed by someone we counted on and who seemed to care for us — a trusted friend who breaks our confidence by sharing a secret we didn’t want anyone else to know; a friendly boss who blatantly ignores our years of faithful service to bestows his favour on a total newcomer; a lover whose kisses turn into an inexplicable affection for someone else; a friend who takes advantage of our longstanding friendship and trust to leverage advantage or profit at our expense. Experiences like this hurt us deeply, especially when the trust and love we thought we shared are used to hurt and ruin us.

Betrayal has many faces but the most painful of all betrayals comes when someone whose affection we knew so well turns into a conspiracy against us.

*

From the highest levels of society to the lowest, betrayal is one of the most common and excruciating of all human experiences. Political and military alliances throughout the ages are made and broken by the betrayal of one allegiance for another. In his classic play “Macbeth,” William Shakespeare masterfully weaves the intricate and intriguing story of betrayal in the court of King Duncan of Scotland. Macbeth, a once trusted and loyal noble, becomes embittered in his ambition for power. When he murders King Duncan in his sleep he accedes to the throne, but the betrayal is not complete. The tentacles of mistrust and conspiracy become ever more complex as Macbeth begins to suspect his friends and others of plotting against him as he had plotted against Duncan. He conspires to have them killed, including his friend Banquo, in order to secure his rule.

Without a doubt the story of Jesus’ betrayal by the kiss of Judas is the quintessential story of betrayal, and yet it is a story that is different from any other story of betrayal I’ve ever heard.  Jesus, realizing he is about to be sold out by Judas, greets him in the moment of betrayal, and though recognizing what is about to transpire Jesus calls him “friend.” Jesus neither resists Judas nor attempts to turn the tables on a man who had been one of his closest companions in proclaiming the good news of God’s love. Judas was as self-serving and duplicitous a man as there ever was — he’d have to be such to think he would betray both man and God by a kiss.  Judas was a chosen companion, one of the 12 men who ate and drank and lived with Jesus through many miracles and wonders on land and sea. He’d seen the proof of God in Jesus but betrayed his friend with a kiss of death for what he thought was personal gain.

*

Yet beyond this kiss of death is the mystery of God’s amazing grace, for though betrayed to death, Jesus overcame the insult and the injury of betrayal through his death and resurrection.  Betrayal is not the end of our story, for as we look up from our self-interest and self-possession we see Jesus who still calls us “friend,” and loves us more than we have ever been loved by anyone — compelling us to live gratefully and gracefully without duplicity.

The one I kiss is the man; arrest him. Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, ‘Greetings Rabbi!” and kissed him. Jesus replied, ‘Friend, do what you came for.” Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. Matthew 26:48-50

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

134 Responses to Ambivalence killed Jesus. The people waved palm branches on Sunday, singing “Hosanna hey.” Come Friday, they shouted to free Barabbas. Same crowd. When you stand too close to beautiful, bright lights, you find yourself deeply ambivalent about the way that light shines on parts of yourself, not so beautiful, not so bright. — sage Steven Kalas

  1. Pingback: Thriving, learning, & having wisdom are about getting up each morning with intention, clarity, & commitment to seek & nurture connection along life’s healthy, healing path of inner nourishment & peace of mind | Curtis Narimatsu

  2. Pingback: Finding meaning in suffering a la great master Viktor Frankl | Curtis Narimatsu

  3. Pingback: In praise of Kathie Melocco and her ontic, the master Viktor Frankl: Have you reached a turning point in your life? | Curtis Narimatsu

  4. Pingback: Greg Garrett: Great stories make us feel as though we are not alone, and these stories offer us the opportunity to enter into stories of great suffering — and to cultivate the fervent belief that suffering will somehow, someday, pass. | Curtis Narim

  5. Pingback: Greg Garrett: Great stories make us feel as though we are not alone, and these stories offer us the opportunity to enter into stories of great suffering — and to cultivate the fervent belief that suffering will somehow, someday, pass. | Curtis Narim

  6. Pingback: Greatest sage Viktor Frankl: What is to give light must endure burning | Curtis Narimatsu

  7. Pingback: By putting aside our selfish interests to serve someone or something larger than ourselves — by devoting our lives to “giving” rather than “taking” — we are not only expressing our fundamental humanity, but are also acknowledging that there is

  8. Pingback: Radical commitment, and nothing less, makes a marriage and/or odyssey in self-actualization thrive | Curtis Narimatsu

  9. Pingback: The quality of irony is not strained — like Portia in Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice, irony or mercy must flow freely or not flow at all | Curtis Narimatsu

  10. Pingback: topic: irony | Curtis Narimatsu

  11. Pingback: my Biblical hero Matthew — the lowest of the low | Curtis Narimatsu

  12. Pingback: Sage Jason Velotta: For the people of Jericho, Zacchaeus was the lowest of the low. He was an outcast, the scum of the earth. No one is too wretched, too broken, or too guilty of sin. In fact, no matter what you have done, we are all in the same boat. We

  13. Pingback: Sage Paul Naumann: Jesus said, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.” — Mark 9:35. | Curtis Narimatsu

  14. Pingback: Sage Marci Glass: Jesus doesn’t seem to care WHY he’s in this situation. But Jesus does seem to care enough about this man, this foreign, tomb-dwelling, demon possessed man to heal him. | Curtis Narimatsu

  15. Pingback: Sage Tom Stein: Three levels of compassion in Jesus — 1) Jesus has compassion for the man’s condition. While others will reject him and run from him, Jesus heals him. 2) Jesus has compassion for the man’s isolation. How long ago did someone last

  16. Pingback: Sage Larry Brincefield: The Widow of Nain — Jesus’ primary concern was for this poor woman… and Jesus raised her son from the dead… and then, instead of saying “come and follow Me”…He told him to go and care for his dear moth

  17. Pingback: Sage Becky Blanton: The difference between true compassion and a snow job is obvious to anyone who has experienced both! The whole point of the parable of the Good Samaritan is that compassion is about one person’s decision to act based on who they were

  18. Pingback: Sage Mike Bagwell: Yet Jesus’ apostles “turned the world upside down” … for Jesus! These are the exact words of Luke the historian in Acts 17:6. | Curtis Narimatsu

  19. Pingback: Sage Dave Trenholm: Jesus ate meals with Rome’s tax collectors and other disreputable sinners – the lowest of the low – because by simply eating with those people, He was letting them know that they were important to him. If you ate with anyone

  20. Pingback: Sage Fred R. Anderson: How could the lawful Pharisees not praise God for that? But still, they must keep their eye on Jesus, for his ways are not their own ways, nor those of John the Baptist and his disciples for that matter. Look at those with whom Jesu

  21. Pingback: Margaret M. Mitchell: To describe modern Christians on the basis of their proclamations??? | Curtis Narimatsu

  22. Pingback: Unforgiveness is a major cause of depression, many people have unforgiveness but are not even aware of it because it is buried so deep inside. — Seek God Ministries | Curtis Narimatsu

  23. Pingback: Jesus continually sought out marginalised people to befriend. An immense compassion drew him toward poor people, those with leprosy (who were regarded as outcasts) and tax collectors (who were loathed as traitors). Jesus had friends who would feel at home

  24. Pingback: Jesus’ invitation was for “the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind” to share in the Kingdom of God, a feast of equals, of open commensality, where there is no distinctions at the table. Jesus broke down barriers by lifting up those s

  25. Pingback: Richard J. Henderson: Once a journalist who had come to report about her mission, looked at her huddled over the body of a dying, destitute man. He said, “You couldn’t pay me to do that kind of work!” Hearing him, Mother Teresa turned an

  26. Pingback: Time and again His parables sought to justify His association with outcasts (Lk. 14:15-24; 15:1-32; Mt. 18:23-25; 20:1-15; 21:28-32). — Carelinks Ministries | Curtis Narimatsu

  27. Pingback: Richard J. Henderson: Once a journalist who had come to report about her mission, looked at her huddled over the body of a dying, destitute man. He said, “You couldn’t pay me to do that kind of work!” Hearing him, Mother Teresa turned an

  28. Pingback: Jesus’ life was full of paradoxes: the shepherds who first came to him were the lowest of the low, wandering around in fetid clothes, while the magi were some of the highest in their society. Baby Jesus was surrounded by the pungent smell of animal excr

  29. Pingback: Jesus’ invitation was for “the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind” to share in the Kingdom of God, a feast of equals, of open commensality, where there is no distinction at the table. Jesus broke down barriers by lifting up those sh

  30. Pingback: Sage Marci Glass: Jesus doesn’t seem to care WHY the other man is in this situation. But Jesus does seem to care enough about this man, this foreign, tomb-dwelling, demon possessed man to heal him. | Curtis Narimatsu

  31. Pingback: David Wilson: If you’ve not been beat up, downcast and broken at some point in your life, stop reading now. For the unscarred and unscathed, I have nothing further to share. I am thankful you have ventured here and wish you continued smooth sailing.

  32. Pingback: The kicker, the twist in this story, is the guest list and the etiquette. Jesus says, Don’t make the rich people, the healthy people, the prominent and powerful first. Nope, invite the poorest, the sick, the cripples, the lowest of the low. They’re th

  33. Pingback: The kicker, the twist in this story, is the guest list and the etiquette. Jesus says, Don’t make the rich people, the healthy people, the prominent and powerful first. Nope, invite the poorest, the sick, the cripples, the lowest of the low. They’re th

  34. Pingback: In the case of Christ we have a unique form of persuasion. It is like what happens when an error in our viewpoint is shown to us, and our mind reassembles around the truth that we have not seen. But it is unlike this process in that the truth that takes u

  35. Pingback: In the case of Christ we have a unique form of persuasion. It is like what happens when an error in our viewpoint is shown to us, and our mind reassembles around the truth that we have not seen. But it is unlike this process in that the truth that takes u

  36. Pingback: Jesus violated every conceivable tradition when it came to His associations with the marginalized of Jewish society. He infuriated the Pharisees with every compassionate touch. The Qumran community of the Essenes had an unconditional law: “No madman, or

  37. Pingback: This is why when the almighty God came into the world in Jesus, he came as the lowest of the low, as weakness itself, as a complete and utter nothing. — Robert L. Short | Curtis Narimatsu

  38. Pingback: The beautiful word minister, or Huperetes in Greek, has a very special meaning. It is the name of a very low slave, the lowest of the low. This slave was either shanghaied from his home or from the streets or taken from prison or simply kidnapped and was

  39. Pingback: What did Jesus see? — Judy of Rapture Ready | Curtis Narimatsu

  40. Pingback: They heard him preach about how the smallest, lowest, and least among them, were precious in God’s eyes, and the greatest in the Kingdom of God. — Malina & Altenburg | Curtis Narimatsu

  41. Pingback: We typically refuse to help those who are the source of suffering, disappointment, injustice, humiliation, or disgust. — David Chadwell | Curtis Narimatsu

  42. Pingback: But compassion seems to drive religious people’s charitable feelings LESS than other groups — the more religious ground their generosity less in emotion, and more in doctrine, communal identity, or reputational concerns. | Curtis Narimatsu

  43. Pingback: The Pharisees’ statement is intended as a stinging rebuke. It’s not really a question, it’s kind of a rhetorical question, intended to be vindictive and bitter. It’s outrage, why do you eat and drink with the tax gatherers and sinn

  44. Pingback: After all, where was Jesus found most of the time? For me, I see Jesus living and interacting with beggars, prostitutes and tax collectors the lowest of the low in His society. And by choice and association Jesus himself was one of the marginalized, and I

  45. Pingback: God who is so high above the nations, reigning from heaven, still looks down upon the earth to the poorest of the poor, the lowliest of the low…God cares for these folks that are often overlooked. When the Psalmist asks us, “Who is like the Lord our G

  46. Pingback: God who is so high above the nations, reigning from heaven, still looks down upon the earth to the poorest of the poor, the lowliest of the low…God cares for these folks that are often overlooked. When the Psalmist asks us, “Who is like the Lord our G

  47. Pingback: After all, where was Jesus found most of the time? For me, I see Jesus living and interacting with beggars, prostitutes and tax collectors — the lowest of the low in His society. And by choice and association Jesus himself was one of the marginalize

  48. Pingback: They heard him preach about how the smallest, lowest, and least among them — were precious in God’s eyes, and the greatest in the Kingdom of God. — Malina & Altenburg | Curtis Narimatsu

  49. Pingback: God who is so high above the nations, reigning from heaven, still looks down upon the earth to the poorest of the poor, the lowliest of the low…God cares for these folks that are often overlooked. When the Psalmist asks us, “Who is like the Lord our G

  50. Pingback: God who is so high above the nations, reigning from heaven, still looks down upon the earth to the poorest of the poor, the lowliest of the low…God cares for these folks that are often overlooked. When the Psalmist asks us, “Who is like the Lord our G

  51. Pingback: Jesus answered and said to him, “What I do you do not realize now but you shall understand hereafter.” You don’t get it, Peter, you don’t get My humiliation. You think this is too lowly for Me, you think this is too humble for Me,

  52. Pingback: How often do we judge others? I’ll be the first to say that it’s definitely more than it should be. Without even realizing, we judge instantly based on appearance. In the back of our minds, we convince ourselves we are better because we don

  53. Pingback: If you were in the bottom of a hole.. who would you most resent helping you out of the hole? Just think about it….. ‘Cause that’s whom Jesus calls you to love. — April Coates | Curtis Narimatsu

  54. Pingback: Healing the sick. Loving the unloved. Welcoming the unwelcomed. Gathering the little ones. Receiving the rejected and abandoned. Comforting the elders. The Paschal Mystery (Passover) is the greatest act of compassion. God, suffering with us, putting every

  55. Pingback: Many of us claim to love humanity even – the lowest of the low like lepers, prostitutes, and tax-collectors. (Now you know why income tax returns are due at Easter). In affirming the lowest of the low Jesus affirmed humanity. In His emphasis upon th

  56. Pingback: Many of us claim to love humanity even – the lowest of the low like lepers, prostitutes, and tax-collectors. (Now you know why income tax returns are due at Easter). In affirming the lowest of the low Jesus affirmed humanity. In His emphasis upon th

  57. Pingback: Many of us claim to love humanity even – the lowest of the low like lepers, prostitutes, and tax-collectors. (Now you know why income tax returns are due at Easter). In affirming the lowest of the low Jesus affirmed humanity. In His emphasis upon th

  58. Pingback: Here’s the power of hospitality—this willingness to go out of our way to invite and welcome and include those who formerly felt themselves to be on the outside looking in, creating holy space where those who formerly felt themselves to be alienated an

  59. Pingback: But is that the way Jesus treated tax collectors and other outsiders? Matthew 11, verse 19 refers to Jesus as “a friend of tax collectors and sinners”. Time and again in the gospels we witness Jesus befriending those whom others have cast asid

  60. Pingback: But is that the way Jesus treated tax collectors and other outsiders? Matthew 11, verse 19 refers to Jesus as “a friend of tax collectors and sinners”. Time and again in the gospels we witness Jesus befriending those whom others have cast asid

  61. Pingback: Jesus stood in the face of all social convention, and loudly proclaimed that those that see the spirituality of service, and sacrifice, are closer to the kingdom of God, than those with correct doctrine, correct church, and correct lineage. Jesus, this ra

  62. Pingback: Do you know Him? | Curtis Narimatsu

  63. Pingback: Jesus stood in the face of all social convention, and loudly proclaimed that those that see the spirituality of service, and sacrifice, are closer to the kingdom of God, than those with correct doctrine, correct church, and correct lineage. Jesus, this ra

  64. Pingback: But is that the way Jesus treated tax collectors and other outsiders? Matthew 11, verse 19 refers to Jesus as “a friend of tax collectors and sinners”. Time and again in the gospels we witness Jesus befriending those whom others have cast asid

  65. Pingback: How often do we judge others? I’ll be the first to say that it’s definitely more than it should be. Without even realizing, we judge instantly based on appearance. In the back of our minds, we convince ourselves we are better because we don

  66. Pingback: In praise of Lester Chun: Intentionality & the Holy Spirit within oneself | Curtis Narimatsu

  67. Pingback: The Christian distinction which separates Christianity from earlier religions: Matthew 5:44 — Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you. | Curtis Narimatsu

  68. Pingback: What is not in your power to do — to change your enemy — thence, help heal your pain by letting go of your vengeance | Curtis Narimatsu

  69. Pingback: Of a Natalia Stavas — Bombs, Instincts and Morals: Why Heroes Risk It All for Strangers — Jeffrey Kluger | Curtis Narimatsu

  70. Pingback: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson — Embracing Authenticity — by Randy Hain | Curtis Narimatsu

  71. Pingback: Dedicated to Jesus disciple Lester Chun: Lester’s lifetime journey of authentic living | Curtis Narimatsu

  72. Pingback: My Saint — Oscar Romero — and a flourishing of the Social Gospel, with credit to current Pope Francis | Curtis Narimatsu

  73. Pingback: Karyl McBride: Why Am I So Afraid of Being Alone? It may even clear your thoughts about what is healthy for you. “Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn that anything or anyone that does not bring you alive

  74. Pingback: Karyl McBride: Why Am I So Afraid of Being Alone? It may even clear your thoughts about what is healthy for you. “Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn that anything or anyone that does not bring you alive

  75. Pingback: Karyl McBride: Why Am I So Afraid of Being Alone? It may even clear your thoughts about what is healthy for you. “Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn that anything or anyone that does not bring you alive

  76. Pingback: Living well[spring] | Curtis Narimatsu

  77. Pingback: How to deal with loneliness: To stop feeling lonely, we first must accept that we are feeling lonely. Sometimes admitting that to ourselves is difficult. We then have to express those feelings of loneliness in some way. We might find ourselves writing in

  78. Pingback: As the recent history of American Protestantism proves, when faith becomes the servant of partisan politics, even a great religious tradition can lose its soul. So, where have all the Protestants gone? They are swelling the ranks of America’s fastes

  79. Pingback: Those who are driven by a quest for happiness are more likely to end up feeling lonely instead, according to a study. This is because they focus on themselves, rather than on their connections with others. As a result, self-seeking individuals end up feel

  80. Pingback: Those who are driven by a quest for happiness are more likely to end up feeling lonely instead, according to a study. This is because they focus on themselves, rather than on their connections with others. As a result, self-seeking individuals end up feel

  81. Pingback: You may be shocked to learn that the supposed essential principle that this country was founded upon — “The Pursuit of Happiness” — is nothing more than an impossible vainglorious wild goose chase. All the saints, sages and wise me

  82. Pingback: “This is Water” – David Foster Wallace — Wallace used many forms of irony, but focused on individuals’ continued longing for earnest, unselfconscious experience and communication in a media-saturated society. Wallace helped u

  83. Pingback: The law of freewill ensures that the self will never force itself upon you, but that doesn’t mean It has abandoned you. This is when understanding the difference between loneliness and aloneness becomes very important: Loneliness is an emotional voi

  84. Pingback: The law of free will ensures that the self will never force itself upon you, but that doesn’t mean It has abandoned you. This is when understanding the difference between loneliness and aloneness becomes very important: Loneliness is an emotional vo

  85. Pingback: The law of free will ensures that the self will never force itself upon you, but that doesn’t mean It has abandoned you. This is when understanding the difference between loneliness and aloneness becomes very important: Loneliness is an emotional vo

  86. Pingback: In Obliquity, John Kay argues that the best things in life can only be pursued indirectly. I believe this is true for happiness: if you truly want to experience joy or meaning, you need to shift your attention away from joy or meaning, and toward projects

  87. Pingback: In Obliquity, John Kay argues that the best things in life can only be pursued indirectly. I believe this is true for happiness: if you truly want to experience joy or meaning, you need to shift your attention away from joy or meaning, and toward projects

  88. Pingback: “Ultimately I was fascinated by Gatsby as a character. I was moved by him. It no longer became a love story to me. It became a tragedy of this new American, this man in a new world where everything is possible, and at a time of great opulence in the

  89. Pingback: Ask yourself the ultimate questions in your life. Who am I? What is my purpose? What is important to me? How do I live an authentic life? By asking the ultimate questions in your life, you begin the lifelong journey inward, a journey of reflection, contem

  90. Pingback: sage Carl Gregg: The expectation of The Parable of the Mustard Seed would have been for the comparison to have been to a Cedar Tree, a symbol of empire in the ancient world. Among many Hebrew Scripture examples, consider Ezekiel 17. The expectation is for

  91. Pingback: Ask yourself the ultimate questions in your life. Who am I? What is my purpose? What is important to me? How do I live an authentic life? By asking the ultimate questions in your life, you begin the lifelong journey inward, a journey of reflection, contem

  92. Pingback: Ask yourself the ultimate questions in your life. Who am I? What is my purpose? What is important to me? How do I live an authentic life? By asking the ultimate questions in your life, you begin the lifelong journey inward, a journey of reflection, contem

  93. Pingback: Jesus’ death becomes even more powerful when this particular messiah also carries your personal projections. That is, the celebrity’s life mirrors important pieces of your own psychic journey. Your own life dramas. Jesus did this for me with h

  94. Pingback: Jesus’ death becomes even more powerful when this particular messiah also carries your personal projections. That is, the celebrity’s life mirrors important pieces of your own psychic journey. Your own life dramas. Jesus did this for me with h

  95. Pingback: Jesus’ death becomes even more powerful when this particular messiah also carries your personal projections. That is, the celebrity’s life mirrors important pieces of your own psychic journey. Your own life dramas. Jesus did this for me with h

  96. Pingback: Jesus’ death becomes even more powerful when this particular messiah also carries your personal projections. That is, the celebrity’s life mirrors important pieces of your own psychic journey. Your own life dramas. Jesus did this for me with h

  97. Pingback: Jesus’ death becomes even more powerful when this particular messiah also carries your personal projections. That is, the celebrity’s life mirrors important pieces of your own psychic journey. Your own life dramas. Jesus did this for me with h

  98. Pingback: We all have the power to pick our attitudes | Curtis Narimatsu

  99. Pingback: Greatest sage Viktor Frankl: Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other t

  100. Pingback: Then Jesus cleansed the temple of everything evil about us — then in typical mob hysteria, we “cleansed” ourselves of Jesus via His Crucifixion | Curtis Narimatsu

  101. Pingback: In praise of nickname Stoner’s bridging the proverbial age gap — from Stoner age 43 to Peter age 66: “You are not an uptight jerk” (like other ultra-judgmental old farts!!) | Curtis Narimatsu

  102. Pingback: In praise of nickname Stoner’s bridging the proverbial generation gap — from Stoner age 43 to Peter age 66: “You are not an uptight jerk” (like other ultra-judgmental old farts!!) | Curtis Narimatsu

  103. Pingback: Ambivalence: The hair-thin line between being thrilled (Jesus our savior comes to our town Jerusalem) and being threatened (our own ambivalence — Jesus cleanses the temple of everything evil about ourselves — we feel threatened by Jesus reveal

  104. Pingback: Ambivalence: The hair-thin line between being thrilled (Jesus our savior comes to our town Jerusalem) and being threatened (our own ambivalence — Jesus cleanses the temple of everything evil about ourselves — we feel threatened by Jesus reveal

  105. Pingback: Love-hate dynamic of mob hysteria in praising, then killing Jesus — all within a week’s time | Curtis Narimatsu

  106. Pingback: So Jesus exposed our unlovely selves (Jesus’ cleansing of the temple by ridding it of our money-changers) — we didn’t have to kill Jesus — we could have sublimated our primal fears about our hypocritical nature — and instead

  107. Pingback: So Jesus exposed our unlovely selves (Jesus’ cleansing of the temple by ridding it of our money-changers) — we didn’t have to kill Jesus — we could have sublimated our primal fears about our hypocritical nature — and instead

  108. Pingback: We depraved humans are so fickle, to say the least — my recount of Jesus’ exposure of our mob hysteria 2,000 yrs. ago — nothing has changed in us since then — we still are a mob in senseless hysteria | Curtis Narimatsu

  109. Pingback: Aquinas is equidistant to early church father Augustine 400 yrs. before Aquinas — and to us 400 yrs. after 1200 AD Aquinas — yet, nothing has changed in us — we still are as depraved today as we were when we crucified Jesus in our sensel

  110. Pingback: Aquinas is equidistant to early church father Augustine 800 yrs. before Aquinas — and to us 800 yrs. after 1200 AD Aquinas — yet, nothing has changed in us — we still are as depraved today as we were when we crucified Jesus in our sensel

  111. Pingback: Aquinas is equidistant to early church father Augustine 800 yrs. before Aquinas — and to us 800 yrs. after 1200 AD Aquinas — yet, nothing has changed in us — we still are as depraved today as we were when we crucified Jesus in our sensel

  112. Pingback: Nothing has changed in us — we still are as depraved today as we were when we crucified Jesus in our senseless mob hysteria — Aquinas is equidistant to early church father Augustine 800 yrs. before Aquinas — and to us 800 yrs. after 1200

  113. Pingback: We depraved humans of immense despair — nothing has changed in us — we still are as depraved today as we were when we crucified Jesus in our senseless mob hysteria — Aquinas is equidistant to early church father Augustine 800 yrs. before

  114. Pingback: We depraved humans of immense despair — nothing has changed in us — we still are as depraved today as we were when we crucified Jesus in our senseless mob hysteria — Aquinas is equidistant to early church father Augustine 800 yrs. before

  115. Pingback: We depraved humans of immense despair — nothing has changed in us — we still are as depraved today as we were when we crucified Jesus in our senseless mob hysteria — Aquinas is equidistant to early church father Augustine 800 yrs. before

  116. Pingback: We are depraved humans steeped in immense despair — nothing has changed in us — we still are as depraved today as we were when we crucified Jesus in our senseless mob hysteria — Aquinas is equidistant to early church father Augustine 800

  117. Pingback: Jesus’ mind-blowing reversal/frustration of all expectations — turning common-sense ideas upside down, confounding us all — spark our deepest imaginative opposites/impossibilities, to say the least!! | Curtis Narimatsu

  118. Pingback: Jesus’ mind-blowing reversal/frustration of all expectations — turning common-sense ideas upside down, confounding us all — Jesus sparks our beautifully deepest, imaginative “opposites/impossibilities of thought,” to say the

  119. Pingback: Jesus’ mind-blowing “huli ‘au” (upside down) overturning of this world of our flesh — Jesus violated every conceivable tradition when it came to His associations with the marginalized of Jewish society. He infuriated the Phar

  120. Pingback: Jesus’ mind-blowing “huli ‘au” (upside down) overturning of this world of our flesh — Jesus violated every conceivable tradition when it came to His associations with the marginalized of Jewish society. He infuriated the Phar

  121. Pingback: Mind-blowing Jesus stands inexplicably before us, and Jesus turns common-sense ideas upside down, confounding us all! Dedicated to authentic Ri-in!! | Curtis Narimatsu

  122. Pingback: Life is full of reversals of expectations, baby!! Dedicated to my little girl Staycie age 40 — my separation anxiety from my baby girl when she turned 18 & left home to live on her own turned out to be her greatest crossover to independence R

  123. Pingback: Hawaii’s greatest modern wayfinder Rev. Hung Wai Ching (1905-2002) alter ego Rev. Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971) — Niebuhr’s immensely popular Serenity Prayer: “Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it

  124. Pingback: Calvinism, we keep being reminded, was the faith of the Puritans who settled most early American colonies, and its teachings are reflected in founding documents. Since the U.S. Constitution is so preoccupied with checks and balances, some old-timers found

  125. Pingback: Calvinism, we keep being reminded, was the faith of the Puritans who settled most early American colonies, and its teachings are reflected in founding documents. Since the U.S. Constitution is so preoccupied with checks and balances, some old-timers found

  126. Pingback: To love and be loved are what life is all about | Curtis Narimatsu

  127. Pingback: In praise of Pastor Jay Hernandez — Colossians 1:20 – And having made peace through the blood of the cross, that all beings in heaven and on earth would be reconciled or brought back to God. | Curtis Narimatsu

  128. Pingback: In praise of Pastor Jay Hernandez — Colossians (phonetic pronunciation: kuh-LAH-shuhnz) 1:20 – And having made peace through the blood of the cross, that all beings in heaven and on earth would be reconciled or brought back to God. | Curtis Narima

  129. Pingback: I’m here to love and be loved | Curtis Narimatsu

  130. Pingback: Nobody comes to therapy who hasn’t lost something. The heart is injured. Limping. Constrained by psychic adhesions. Aching, either obviously or just behind the curtain of consciousness. The therapeutic relationship is the MRI. It reveals what’s torn.

  131. Pingback: Nobody comes to therapy who hasn’t lost something. The heart is injured. Limping. Constrained by psychic adhesions. Aching, either obviously or just behind the curtain of consciousness. The therapeutic relationship is the MRI. It reveals what’s torn.

  132. Pingback: Nobody comes to therapy who hasn’t lost something. The heart is injured. Limping. Constrained by psychic adhesions. Aching, either obviously or just behind the curtain of consciousness. The therapeutic relationship is the MRI. It reveals what’s torn.

  133. Pingback: To love and to be loved are mystical desires a la Carl Jung’s archetypes (Jung’s forebearers were mystics Plato, Apostle Paul, & Augustine) | Curtis Narimatsu

  134. Pingback: The young man with terminal cancer was going to die quicker than he thought, and he was very depressed about this. And of course he hadn’t gotten to make his mark, and he had this conversation with this young woman. And the young woman said, “No,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s